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Mea Culpa


posted on
September 12th, 2011
written by
Joey Digital
category
Anti-Weave, Stuff

I screwed up.

On Friday, I wrote an article combining my personal feelings about weave usage among women I’m attracted to with a discount code promotion for a series of events I’m hosting. The promotional code serves as a fundraiser for a Facebook group for women with natural hair from Florida A&M University. More importantly, I totally underestimated the sensitivity of this topic, and I did not mean to offend anyone – especially those without natural hair.

How It All Started

Roughly 2 weeks ago, I reached out to the founder of the Orange, Green, and Natural group on Facebook about a mutually beneficial promotion for three of my events in the next 30 days: for each member of the group that uses the discount code “natural”, I’ll personally give the organization $3 (Note: the discounts range from $5-$10, and the regular ticket price is $20).

The discount code promotion was nothing new. For the event in Atlanta, I’d already created 10 other discount codes that had been distributed to thousands of people (both female and male, all hair types, etc) over the past month. Heck, the events during Homecoming are hybrid fundraisers for the University (see: FAMU Young Alumni Movement).

My hope was to attract a few new women to the events (approx 40% of the group’s membership have attended my events in the past), and assist the organization in the best way I know how. Hopefully with the additional funds, they can extend into host meetups, seminars, etc.

What I Should Have Done

Option 1: Not made this particular discount code public. Essentially, only existing group members would have known about it.

Option 2 Part 1: Not mixed “business with pleasure.” The opening sentence of the blog post “Over the years, I’ve professed my utter disdain for weave, and love for natural hair (see: Anti-Weave List)” had absolutely nothing to do with the discount code. It was an incendiary (slightly on purpose) remark which, at the time, seemed like a good bridge to the promotion.

Option 2 Part 2: Given the back story by explaining the affiliation with Natural Hair Facebook group, and its’ purpose as a fundraiser.

Option 2 Part 3: Provided links to the other existing discount codes for people without natural hair.

Clearing Up The Misconceptions

I have a history of being misunderstood (unfortunately, my default mode of thinking is that everyone has access to the same information I do). But as many entrepreneurs feel, being misunderstood is a step up from being ignored. Let’s see if I can clear up some of the misconceptions:

Misconception #1: Women Without Natural Hair Are Not Welcome At The Events

This has never, and never will be the case. The same monetary discount had been offered to thousands of people over the last month, and hundreds (both male and female and all hair types) have already taken advantage of the promotion.

Misconception #2: We’ll Be Checking Hair At The Door

The code is for online ticket tracking only. Once you’ve purchased a ticket with the code, you’re all set. In theory, a guy could use the code if he knew about it. The only discretion used at the door is for age (21+), and attire. In fact, if someone without natural hair uses the code, it helps the natural hair organization.

What I’ve Learned

Many women consider this issue divisive. And while I don’t agree, I now have a better (not complete) understanding of the complexities of the topic including how many people view it as being divisive.

Comments

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  • Nicole - September 14, 2011 at 5:51 pm -

    The transition back to natural hair is not an easy one and comes with more sigma than I never thought would exist. So yes the controversy is extending your reach. I am not in the area but happy to hear about the support of this journey. I wish you nothing but this best, and I hope the news of this spreads and you have even more clients at your events.

  • Celestea - September 14, 2011 at 7:28 pm -

    DON’T APOLOGIZE. to defend poison hair is insane. long live natural life and looks

  • Sharen - September 14, 2011 at 8:49 pm -

    Option 2 Part 2 yes! I’m a natural newbie and I love it but I won’t tell anyone to not relax because I’ve done it. I can’t tell anyone not to weave it up because I’ve done it. And I can’t tell anyone not to flip their wig because I’ve worn one. All I can say is I love it. It is so hard to not come off as judgmental even when you are only stating your opinion. Someone will get offended and its sad. Why can’t people chalk it up to you doing you? Raise funds but only let the ones who understand your method behind your madness into your inner circle. Some people never took a marketing class so they know nothing about how to research the market. Even though this doesn’t apply to me at all, let me apologize to you for all the whiny, boo hoo, blah, you so wrong beyotching little girls in adult bodies who caused you such grief. I do apologize. Live and let live!!!

  • Meka - September 15, 2011 at 9:25 am -

    ALL NATURAL AND LOVING IT!!!!!!

  • ToiSwan White - September 15, 2011 at 1:52 pm -

    I got some comments…1f you want to host a natural party, you do that, our society is too sensitive especially in the black community. I am black woman with naturally curly hair and as a kid girls were jealous and hated me because of my hair, some still do. I keep my hair short and feel stupid when I wear a weave or a wig simply because I know I’m doing so only to fit in with society. I hate to see black women with weave because I know they are wearing it to be accepted in society or by some man, when the real black men I talk to, hate the fact their women wear hair that they can not even touch. I never see weave that represents our natural afros but I have seen them with locks of jheri curls. I say be you and love who you are no matter if you hair is natural or not but if you wear a weave, understand that there are people in our black community that simply don’t like ir or agree with it.

  • Cuattrochic - September 15, 2011 at 2:57 pm -

    “Joey: Any publicity is good publicity” so kudos on the exposure. I’m a 2nd time natural but I subscribe to the philosophy that it doesn’t matter if you’re permed or natural so long as you appreciate the beauty in both.

    Honestly, I’m a bit apathetic to individuals who took offense to this misunderstanding. Boo hoo…you felt discriminated against in regards to a social event. Try ostracism in corporate america, naive questions about how you get your hair to “look that way,” or being passed up in consideration for a job because you choose not to put chemicals on what grows out of your head naturally…When the stakes are that high, then we can meet at the table of understanding. Until then, life will go on as usual.

    Hope my tone isn’t too harsh, just trying to highlight how insignificant his faux pas was. We need more men like Joey publicly professing his love for natural hair!

  • RE - September 19, 2011 at 9:22 pm -

    Peace Brother, I definitely appreciate Your efforts to support natural hair. I detest weave (it’s unquestionably the result of a distorted Self-image, lack of Self-worth, low Self-esteem, etc..) and I also adore My Sisters who are confident enough to wear their hair natural – it’s undeniably much more beautiful. I intend to attend some of these events and will spread the word to My Peers to support them as well. Thanks for speaking Your Mind and that explanation was thoroughly sufficient; don’t feel as though U need to cater anymore to those overly sensitive ‘wannabes’ because they choose not to identify with their own. Black Women need to learn how to be comfortable with their Self and stop trying to be and look like something they are not. Besides ‘Real recognize Real’; fake attracts that which is fake. It’s a shame that this charitable gesture to assist these Sisters has received such unwarranted backlash. Please don’t let that buffoonery deter U from promoting Black Consciousness in other endeavors.
    PEACE